Loving Life

This has certaintly been the best week in a long while. I am loving having Jeff home. I have not been watching my food choices as well as I usually would, but I am owning it, and will just do better tomorrow. And make sure I work out more.

But today was lovely, we went and found the perfect chair for our reading/living room - we actually got a chair in a half and ottoman, or at least we will it's going to take about 6 weeks to arrive since they had to order it, and we are doing a layaway so that we can take time to pay for it. And we can have more time to get that room in order.  And we went to the kitchen store and bought a mortar & pestal, some apple butter syrup, a bbq sauce and cutting boards. Followed by lunch out at Olive Garden.

Reunions

So happy to say that my husband is home! He got home Sunday afternoon, and we were able to suprise the boys are school on Monday. LOL! We were able to get a video of Jeff suprising the boys. It was wonderful....

 

Wow.. I am bad about writing.

I have been so busy with the house, and trying to get things done before Jeff gets home that I've forgotten to write on my blog.

Well so much as happened, Jeff is back in the states now. Got back Saturday. Will be home next week! Yay! We are insanely excited, or at least I am. Not sure where my boys stand. I think it will be quite a change for them.

But one I am whole heartedly looking forward too. Other than that not much has been going on. Hopefully I will be posting more from now on.

75 days and counting....

So we stand at 75 days until the hubs is home. I am SOOOO excited. I can't wait to see him again. I know the boys are missing thier daddy alot - even if they don't say it! But I sure hope I can manage to save some serious cash before he gets home so he can take extra time off from work. Heres hoping I can do it.

Well I am taking a break from working on the house... I think I can't do much more until I get some furniture on there. Well other than cleaning carpets... and it's too hot to go do that right now....

So excited... and yet NOT

I am so excited that Jeff will be home in less than 3 months. Yet at the same time I can't help but feel mad, because some of his unit will be home sooner. I don't begrudge them thier excitement, It's just a hard pill to swallow that Jeff will be in the last group of guys to come home.  But I guess this gives me more time to save money and more time to get our house in order.

Which -- bring me to more exciting stuff. I found a house to rent. YAY!!! Now we just need to move all our stuff in... it's a slow process but it's getting there. :)

Weight loss had been going good. I have been losing 2 punds a week. Which is insanely awesome. If I keep it up I will be done another 20lbs by the time Jeff gets home. Wahoo... Goal weight is between 140 and 160... but for now I am aiming to be under 200lbs by New years. I think I can do it!

Double digits...

Oh yeah this deployments countdown is FINALLY in the double digits. We have 98 days until the hubs is home again! I cannot wait. The boys can't wait. It has been a long 9 months. And we are anxious to get back out family routine. Now I jsut need to find us a house. Whether rental or not... we need a home of our own. Where Jeff and I can settle in with our boys and start making some new memories together post deployment!

In other news I am down a few pounds to 249lbs. So excited. I have almost lost 10% of my weight. It doens't seem like much but a year ago I was sitting large at 281 lbs, and while it is has taken time... and has been slow going for much of it, I think I have finaly found my grove and have realized that for me I have to track my food in a food journal. And that for the most part I need to be aware of how many calories I am consuming. Right now I am at 1680 calories a day for weight loss, and that has me losing a pound a week... I want it to be more but it won't be until I get in more activity. I need to seriously start working out during the day.

With that said I think I am going to start the C25K program ... a little skeptical about actually doing it, but I need to be commited to weight loss and a more active lifestyle.

Where have I been....

In my own little world, struggling... to lose weight, struggling to keep sane, struggling with my boys, struggling with the emotions and this deployment.

Weight loss has been so hard, keeping on track and following the rules of healthy eating is even harder. I am following weight watchers, and bought a Mytrak slim coach, a Wii fit... I HAVE ALL THE TOOLS... but I am just not using them -- and I need too -- So my goal is to get active and get eating better. Starting with surrouding myself with healthier foods. So I am have started to overhaul our eating habits and looking up healthier versions of our fave foods.

And I am going to keep the boys busy with the zoo, aquarium and parks. We have the Nelson Ledges 5 minutes from us... and as long as the weather is nice we will be there hiking. What a great way to get a workout and have fun.

Losing Weight is hard to do...

It really is, maybe for some it's not that hard. I mean the basic principles are easy, eat healthy and exercise more. I get... but for someone who has been overweight most of their life, it's sometimes hard to always eat healthier. Maybe that's what I love about Weight Watchers, you can still have the pizza and wings, but you learn to eat in moderation so that your not going over your points. And I am getting better with the exercise. And I guess that is where the Biggest Loser slim coach comes in, at the beginning of the day it is red, and when you've met your goals (you can go to their website and set them up) it turns green. Now I love watching it go from red to green. But this first week it's just learning my lifestyle it says. So I am hoping that next week it gets a bit harder to turn green so that I am pushing myself to be more active.

I have a goal. And I want to reach it. I know my hubby says he doesn't care how much weight I lose, but I do. I want to feel more confident in my body. And be more active for my kids.


So I am crazy excited... for years since I was little, I had a chipped tooth that got fixed, and since than it was been yellow. And for years I have wanted to get a veneer or something to fix it. Well I finally made an appointment with a dentist that does veneers, so monday I go for a normal cleaning and than Weds, I go for the veneer and the whitening, so that all my teeth match the veneer! YAY! I am sooo freaking excited.

It's killing me :(

This deployment is killing me... yeah okay, so maybe I don't let it show ofton. But it is. I miss Jeff terribly, it's getting harder and harder to do things without him. Sitting on the couch reading a book I just wish he was there to hold me while I read. Putting the boys to bed... wish he was here to kiss them good night, and to help comfort them when they are scared. While I love my boys, I love their father just as much. And the last 6 months literally feel like it's been forever since he left. Now I realize I may have seen him twice since leaving in Sept, but let me tell you that seeing your husband for a couple days here and a week at Christmas does not make anyone feel better.

So what brought this post on... a CD of pictures. Jeff has been lifting weights in Afghanistan, so I told him, purely for the reason of seeing the change... to send me some pics shirtless. So I got the CD yesterday, and seeing my shirtless hubby (OMG serious drool worthiness pictures) looking oohhh so good, has be missing him even more. But while I was looking at these pictures he is not smiling in very many of them. Actually I think he only smiled in one. And he sent us a video of his room... make me miss him even more still because I want to be in that room with him, or any room with him. I don't care where, I just WANT YO BE WITH HIM! Sitting there free to talk to him anytime I want and not just when he can call.

Whats worse is we aren't even sure WHEN he will be home. He have a kind of idea, but the unit has not told them a for sure when, supposedly they will be telling them when they will be coming home in a couple weeks. I HOPE!

Didn't make it to the gym...

But I did make it to home depot to buy mulch and garden soil, and than to target to get my Hubbys birthday present. I am gathering it all this week so I can send it to him early next week and hopefully he will get it by his birthday May 15th.

I will say that hauling 10 bags of soil and 5 bags of mulch feels like a workout. I may go for a bike ride in a bit. Even though it is insanely windy!

I also have been a little slack with keeping track of my WW points. So today I bought a bunch of smart ones for breakfast and lunch! Wahoo... that will take out the guess work for those two meals. Thank goodness, because I need to get back to losing good at a steady rate. Next on my agenda it to get in a very good workout! I think I am going to research and find a routine that will be the best workout for me.

Where the heck have I been...?

I have been going crazy. I have been busy, and I have been dealing with trying to get everything together and credit scores to where they need to be so that I can buy a house. I have found the house of my dreams, a cute little ranch with 3 bedrooms, and a 3 car garage on a little under 4 acres. I am hoping that scores will be raised and ready and this house will still be available. But for now, I am on a mission. A mission to save $10000 by Sept 1st. I have things set up to track my progress with our bank that is linked to the savings account, I have looked at what needs paid every month, and what doesn't and I think I can realisticly save $2000 a month.

Heres to hoping... things work out because man do I have plans. I have ideas on repurposing a couple dressers, one to be a TV stand, because I just can't find one that is what I want, and another to be an entryway bench with storage and coat hooks. I am so excited. I also have an old sewing table that is getting a new top to be either I side board or a laptop table. 

Really I just have so many ideas for my almost house that I am super excited. Especially since I an chomping at the bit to get my stuff out of storage and see what else I can repurpose... hehehe....

Just about half way...

YES YES YES.... we are just about half way through this deployment. I am so happy about that fact. The boys and I are hoping the next 6 months fly by so we can see Jeff again. Skype is one thing but I CANNOT wait to see him in person. I hate that he is missing so much of the boys lives... they are growing up so much... Jordon hasn't changed much since Jeff left, but Trent has. He really has... he is talking better (thanks so much in part to his speech therapy during pre-school) and he is learning so much. He can write his name and can count to 11 and is learning his ABC's. I am so proud of both boys and the things they are learning.

And I can't wait for Jeff to see the results of all my hard work at the gym and to see how all his hard work at the gym over at his FOB has panned out.

Shame on me...

For not posting here as much as I have wanted to. Life is so crazy sometimes. With warmer weather approaching, the boys and I have been so busy. Baseball season has started, well training has. And Jordon is excited. So am I. We have been riding our bicycles almost everyday. Jordon and I have been going for rides down the road almost everyday together, and it's really nice to have that time together. While Mom walks next to Trent on his bike - he can't quite keep up with JP and I... I think he will get better with time. He just needs more practice.

Oh well....

Bicycles...

So I promised my little boys that I would buy them new bicycles this year since we never managed to get them new ones last year. But in all the hoopla I decided to get myself a bicycle as well. Bough one off my Dads aunt... and after not riding a bike for 15 years, let me just say while I can ride forwards and straight I am rusty on turning and need a little more practice.

Although I did get to go on a nice ride with Jordon down the road today. It was so nice. Now he is planning a race. HA... I doubt that will happen. But I think we have a fun summer of biking ahead of us!

A new week, a new day

Mondays are my weigh in days. I weighed in at 255lbs, that is a 3 pound gain. Ahh... I have really been slacking in the tracking department. So I am vowing this week to get it back on track, since I am on track with going to the gym. I think this week I am going to hit the gym everyday except Weds. Because I am getting the car fixed and than going to go do my grocery shopping. Which is much easier when you make a menu and only buy what is needed for those weeks. And really be very dedicated to tracking my food and drink on weight watchers. So here we go to a week of weight loss (I HOPE) and seriously getting back on track. Since I want to keep losing weight and not gaining.

Oh man I am SORE!

My arms are so sore, it's insane. But I am thankful that they are. It means I did a good job yesterday at the gym. Although with this it makes me think that maybe I need to work out only 3 days a week for a week or two to get my self back in the game of things. But, I will definitely be going to the gym tomorrow to work out. Now I just need to stop snacking on those super yummy sourdough pretzels I have.

I also went and had my eyes checked because I have been getting headaches while driving. And wanted to make sure that my eyes weren't worse. But to my surprise they are a little better although I have astigmatisms in both eyes. Hmm... oh well. So I came home and ordered myself 3 new pairs of glasses, cause the were buy 2 get the 3rd free. Hehe!

Fitness... oh boy!

When I first joined the fitness center I was doing great, going 3 day a week and than I started going 5 days a week. Than Christmas came and it stopped. Now that the New Year is firmly behind us, I have been sporadic about heading to the gym... but seriously WHY? Cause I am lazy sometimes, I am demotivated. But today I made the decision that I seriously have to get off my ass (yes LITERALLY) and get to the gym 5 days a week again. I mean COME ON I have 100lbs to lose. That doesn't happen over night or miraculously.

I need to put in some serious hard work. I need to firm up my body, build some muscle.

So I am officially challenging myself, to come up with the PERFECT workout to get me in and out of the gym in less than an hour, while still giving me a good workout. So I can get home to talk to my husband when he undoubtedly will call around 10:30am my time.

So here I am laying it all out there... I weighed in at 252lbs on Monday, I want to get to 150lbs. That is a cool 102lbs. If I lose 2lbs a week it will take me 51 weeks to lose my 100lbs. <---- 1 year, that is daunting. But I am determined to make my 30's the best decade yet.

3 days...

I have not heard from Jeff in 3 days. Logically my head tells me that they are probably having issues with internet and phones again. But you cannot help but worry that something is wrong. I mean how can you not worry. He is in a freaking war zone. And had been calling everyday... at the same time. 

I am wondering when this will just get easier. Although I doubt it will. My life just is not complete with out him. I can have the best day with the boys, or doing one thing or another, and it just all comes crashing down when I lay down in bed at night. Our bed is lonely, doesn't matter how ofton the boys end up in it with me, is still doesn't fill the gap in my heart. But I do think I have gotten really good at faking happiness. Especially for the boys. I don't think they've seen me cry yet.

House hunting... SUCKS

It sucks and I think I am done for now. I have looked at a few and looked at a ton on the internet and I am just not finding anything I want or really feel compelled to go look at. So I am going to wait a few months, keep an eye on whats happening in the market and than go back out looking. But for now. I am done. I won't keep looking when there really isnt anything calling to me, and I really don't feel like settling.

What a day...

The day started off so promising, had plans to head to the West Side Market, and than it got worrisome. I read and heard about a shooting at Chardon high school and was immediately worried for my aunt and her two boys, they go to Chardon and was not sure of which grade they were in. Thank god they are fine.

Actually had a great time at the Market, so glad, got to talk to Jeff spent some time with Tee. Than I get home and got a phone call from the FRG leader of Jeff's unit. There was a incident, at one of the bases where the unit is stationed they were doing checks as people came in the gate, and there was a bomb thrown at them. 3 of the units soldiers are seriously hurt, now I know it was not Jeff, since I had talked to him and they had said that the families had already been notified. But it really puts a person on edge, and makes you realize just how dangerous it is over there.

SO please pray for Chardon High School students and the soldiers injured from Jeff's unit.