Just about half way...

YES YES YES.... we are just about half way through this deployment. I am so happy about that fact. The boys and I are hoping the next 6 months fly by so we can see Jeff again. Skype is one thing but I CANNOT wait to see him in person. I hate that he is missing so much of the boys lives... they are growing up so much... Jordon hasn't changed much since Jeff left, but Trent has. He really has... he is talking better (thanks so much in part to his speech therapy during pre-school) and he is learning so much. He can write his name and can count to 11 and is learning his ABC's. I am so proud of both boys and the things they are learning.

And I can't wait for Jeff to see the results of all my hard work at the gym and to see how all his hard work at the gym over at his FOB has panned out.

Shame on me...

For not posting here as much as I have wanted to. Life is so crazy sometimes. With warmer weather approaching, the boys and I have been so busy. Baseball season has started, well training has. And Jordon is excited. So am I. We have been riding our bicycles almost everyday. Jordon and I have been going for rides down the road almost everyday together, and it's really nice to have that time together. While Mom walks next to Trent on his bike - he can't quite keep up with JP and I... I think he will get better with time. He just needs more practice.

Oh well....

Bicycles...

So I promised my little boys that I would buy them new bicycles this year since we never managed to get them new ones last year. But in all the hoopla I decided to get myself a bicycle as well. Bough one off my Dads aunt... and after not riding a bike for 15 years, let me just say while I can ride forwards and straight I am rusty on turning and need a little more practice.

Although I did get to go on a nice ride with Jordon down the road today. It was so nice. Now he is planning a race. HA... I doubt that will happen. But I think we have a fun summer of biking ahead of us!

A new week, a new day

Mondays are my weigh in days. I weighed in at 255lbs, that is a 3 pound gain. Ahh... I have really been slacking in the tracking department. So I am vowing this week to get it back on track, since I am on track with going to the gym. I think this week I am going to hit the gym everyday except Weds. Because I am getting the car fixed and than going to go do my grocery shopping. Which is much easier when you make a menu and only buy what is needed for those weeks. And really be very dedicated to tracking my food and drink on weight watchers. So here we go to a week of weight loss (I HOPE) and seriously getting back on track. Since I want to keep losing weight and not gaining.

Oh man I am SORE!

My arms are so sore, it's insane. But I am thankful that they are. It means I did a good job yesterday at the gym. Although with this it makes me think that maybe I need to work out only 3 days a week for a week or two to get my self back in the game of things. But, I will definitely be going to the gym tomorrow to work out. Now I just need to stop snacking on those super yummy sourdough pretzels I have.

I also went and had my eyes checked because I have been getting headaches while driving. And wanted to make sure that my eyes weren't worse. But to my surprise they are a little better although I have astigmatisms in both eyes. Hmm... oh well. So I came home and ordered myself 3 new pairs of glasses, cause the were buy 2 get the 3rd free. Hehe!

Fitness... oh boy!

When I first joined the fitness center I was doing great, going 3 day a week and than I started going 5 days a week. Than Christmas came and it stopped. Now that the New Year is firmly behind us, I have been sporadic about heading to the gym... but seriously WHY? Cause I am lazy sometimes, I am demotivated. But today I made the decision that I seriously have to get off my ass (yes LITERALLY) and get to the gym 5 days a week again. I mean COME ON I have 100lbs to lose. That doesn't happen over night or miraculously.

I need to put in some serious hard work. I need to firm up my body, build some muscle.

So I am officially challenging myself, to come up with the PERFECT workout to get me in and out of the gym in less than an hour, while still giving me a good workout. So I can get home to talk to my husband when he undoubtedly will call around 10:30am my time.

So here I am laying it all out there... I weighed in at 252lbs on Monday, I want to get to 150lbs. That is a cool 102lbs. If I lose 2lbs a week it will take me 51 weeks to lose my 100lbs. <---- 1 year, that is daunting. But I am determined to make my 30's the best decade yet.

3 days...

I have not heard from Jeff in 3 days. Logically my head tells me that they are probably having issues with internet and phones again. But you cannot help but worry that something is wrong. I mean how can you not worry. He is in a freaking war zone. And had been calling everyday... at the same time. 

I am wondering when this will just get easier. Although I doubt it will. My life just is not complete with out him. I can have the best day with the boys, or doing one thing or another, and it just all comes crashing down when I lay down in bed at night. Our bed is lonely, doesn't matter how ofton the boys end up in it with me, is still doesn't fill the gap in my heart. But I do think I have gotten really good at faking happiness. Especially for the boys. I don't think they've seen me cry yet.

House hunting... SUCKS

It sucks and I think I am done for now. I have looked at a few and looked at a ton on the internet and I am just not finding anything I want or really feel compelled to go look at. So I am going to wait a few months, keep an eye on whats happening in the market and than go back out looking. But for now. I am done. I won't keep looking when there really isnt anything calling to me, and I really don't feel like settling.